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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25930888">Somebody that I used to know</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/awhitelilium/pseuds/awhitelilium'>awhitelilium</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Day6 (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Break Up, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, M/M, Side!jaehyungparkian</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 05:01:28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,226</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25930888</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/awhitelilium/pseuds/awhitelilium</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>They say there are three loves during a lifetime.<br/>The first one is young and foolish.<br/>The second one is made of lies, betrayal, sorrow. People get to know what they love about love and what they hate about love.<br/>The third one crawls in your life without you noticing. The third one is meant to be forever. </p><p>Wonpil is SungJin's second love. How to make it last forever?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kang Younghyun | Young K/Park Jaehyung | Jae, Kim Wonpil/Park Sungjin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Somebody that I used to know</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This oneshot is inspired to the song "Somebody that I used to know" by Gothye.  I can't describe how hard has been to write this one, I wouldn't make it if it wasn't for all the people who helped me in the process. To y'all, thank you so much (you can find their Twitter user name in the notes below).<br/>Please, let me know what you think about it in the comments - I do need to know how to improve myself.</p><p>I'd like to gift this story to Shay - I hope you know how much you mean to me.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>In this lifetime, they say we fall in love with three people. And there's a specific reason for each one of them.<br/>
SungJin's first love happened when he was eighteen. He was young and a little bit foolish. But somehow, he convinced himself that MinHee was his soulmate, he believed that she was the one who is meant to be eternal. She is younger but everyone could see how beautiful she is. Some would even say she'll become a model in the near future. She's indeed a natural beauty: her skin is flawless, pale enough to look like a porcelain doll; her lips are thin but shapely. With all her nice physical features, what SungJin loves the most about her is her tiny nose: the tip is slightly turned-up, gifting to the whole face an adorable expression.<br/>
He loves her pretty eyes, but more specifically, he loves her eyes when she greets him. He loves her smile when she hands him a pen as he always forgets to bring one. Most importantly, he loves how she has always been kind to him. Sometimes he feels like an outcast: he doesn't really like that card game wherein guys of his age love. Instead, he likes tea and music. He loves soccer but isn't good at it. Some of his classmates make fun of him, and he always tries not to answer. He pretends it doesn't hurt him, even if his sister keeps telling him it's not worth it. That doesn't stop MinHee from cheering for him. MinHee is great. But as time passes by, they also grow up. SungJin's military service tears them apart, and as soon as he comes back, MinHee has already forgotten about him. She has a boyfriend and her puffy cheeks get colored in red while she hold hands with him.<br/>
They were young. But the truth is, it was love. It was love for what SungJin knew about.</p><p>SungJin experienced his second love during his twenties, and this kind of love has twists and turns. He fell madly deep in love with the same sex as his. At first, the music major panics a little about this new feeling he can't recognize. He feels something unexplainable: he just can't stop thinking about him – and when it happens, he feels his face become hotter. SungJin tries hard not to stare when he sees him walking in the campus, surrounded by friends, smiling, and playing around. Maybe they're the reason why SungJin keeps hesitating to approach him. How embarrassing would it be to see himself rejected right away in front of so many people?</p><p>“You never tried, hyung!” Brian once told him, “You don't know how he would react.”</p><p>“I don't even know if he's... you know.”</p><p>“Gay?” Brian suggests. “Well, he could be. Nothing told you otherwise.”</p><p>SungJin rolls his eyes. He's glad he has some friends now. To be honest, his social life is way different to Sungjin, knowing that he was the same boy who has always been left behind in high school. Brian is his roommate and his best friend. He's that kind of guy who loves procrastinating and rushes into whatever he feels like in the heat of the moment. In a few words, he's everything SungJin is not. That might be the reason why their duo works so well.</p><p>“You're just in a gay panic.”</p><p>“I'm in what?”</p><p>“You don't want to admit that you like a guy. And you're scared of judgment.”</p><p>“I'm not gay, though.”</p><p>“Hyung, who cares!” Brian now looks exasperated. “You are you and you can love whoever you want, who cares if it's a guy?”</p><p>“Brian!” SungJin hushes his friend. “I'll try to approach him, but please don't tell anyone about this.”</p><p>It's Brian's turn to roll his eyes. But he didn't reply and SungJin is glad when the topic changed.<br/>
It took some time, but finally, SungJin gets to learn something about his crush. His name is Kim Wonpil, and he's a pianist. He plays for the school choir, his name is all over the concert programs for seasonal recitals. SungJin even heard from someone that Wonpil himself sings, and his voice is the most angelic one. (That information makes Brian snort, “They haven't heard my singing voice.” And SungJin hit him with his pencil case, even if he knew his roommate was just teasing.) Wonpil is a year younger and apparently, he's less social than people paint him to be. SungJin is a bit taken aback by that. He wonders how he can look that comfortable around people, then.</p><p>It's October when Wonpil approaches him first. Well, it's not because he wants to say something to him in particular, but he wants the empty chair next to him.</p><p>“Excuse me, is that spot empty?” his tone is timid, which makes SungJin melt a little bit.</p><p>“It is.”</p><p>“Oh, thanks!” a relieved sigh escapes his lips. “Today the classroom is much more crowded than usual.” The younger adds, but it seems as though he's talking to no one. He sits comfortably next to SungJin, running his hand through his curly brown hair. For the first time, the music major is close enough to notice how cute those big eyes look. Interestingly enough, he's somewhat cross-eyed, but to Sungjin, that made him seem even more handsome.</p><p>“You know, some say Venus was crossed-eyes,” he suddenly says, surprising both Wonpil and himself. Now his palms get sweaty, he twists on his chair. He isn't that good at hiding his nervousness. But the guy smiles.</p><p>“For real?”</p><p>“Yeah. I think it's because of a painter. He drew Venus with eyes like yours, but she was stunning.” he explains, trying his best not to sound too weird. “They even had to cover that picture. People thought she was too beautiful.”</p><p>The other's smile gets so wide, it shows some wrinkles around his eyes. SungJin felt his legs getting weak.</p><p>“I'm Wonpil.”</p><p>“I'm SungJin.”</p><p>“Do you want to grab some coffee?”</p><p>SungJin soon learns that Wonpil has the most beautiful laugh. It's full of little hiccups and shows all of his perfect teeth. It's contagious and sincere. It never sounds fake and always made SungJin smiling. SungJin remembers telling him that the first day. They keep seeing each other in class, sometimes they catch up at the cafeteria during lunch. On certain occasions, Wonpil is with his best friend and roommate, Jae – who is, as Brian says, “an annoying noodle”. The two of them never stop bickering.</p><p>“You can't order seafood rice and NOT eat the seafood!”</p><p>“Excuse me, sir, who the fuck said that?” Jae's pitch rises, as it always does during their fights.</p><p>“Probably every normal person in this room would agree with me.”<br/>
“Normal is boring. But, please, go ahead, ask everyone.”</p><p>SungJin has to physically keep Brian from accepting the challenge. Wonpil laughs loudly. SungJin finds himself smiling.</p><p>If Brian has to be honest, he has never seen his roommate trying that hard to be fun. The older looks happy to make a fool of himself just to hear his friends laugh. And with “his friends”, Brian meant Wonpil. And the younger is not any different: the two of them just look happy to make fun of each other. Most of the time, it's Wonpil who wants to catch the other's attention. And he owns a weapon that SungJin cannot resist: aegyo.<br/>
Wonpil's aegyo is a problem Jae has been dealing with for years. According to his version of the story, Wonpil used to get in the room they share, kiss Jae on the cheek, and just walk away without any more explanations. But Wonpil denies it, in fact, he explains his reasons every time.</p><p>“You look pitiful, you need to be protected.” Wonpil tries again. On his face, there's a proud grin.</p><p>“I don't want to be protected by your magic kiss.” Jae shoots back. “It's weird.”</p><p>“Please, don't ever do that in front of me.” SungJin interrupts. He looks like he's going to puke anytime soon.</p><p>“SungJin's allergic to skinship,” Brian explains, making SungJin nod furiously.</p><p>“No way,” Wonpil expression gets horrified. “You can't be allergic to skinship. You look like the most huggable bear ever.”</p><p>“The most huggable bear,” the way Jae repeats those words have Brian snort. “What does that even means?”</p><p>“He looks like a bear, look at him.” When everyone turns to look at SungJin, the latter stands awkwardly.</p><p>“He looks more like Bob The Builder, to me.” Jae states. “I'll pay gold to see him wearing a yellow helmet.”</p><p>Wonpil is trying his best not to laugh, but he pouts. Crossing his arms cutely. Brian's amused expression meets SungJin's panicked eyes.</p><p>“Why are you being like that?” the older asks.</p><p>“Are your hugs warm?”</p><p>“How the hell am I supposed to answer that?” SungJin laughs awkwardly. But Wonpil doesn't answer. Instead, he looks satisfied enough to give SungJin a loud smooch on his cheeks.</p><p>“That was cute, though. Keep doing that.” Jae challenges.</p><p>“Please, don't!”</p><p>Everyone laughs at SungJin's loud protests.</p><p>The days became weeks and the weeks became months. SungJin couldn't explain how his life has changed in such a short amount of time.<br/>
He's never alone: somehow, his small group of friends could always keep him company. Lunches ate alone in the cafeteria are a distant memory. Now, when Brian couldn't join him, Jae and Wonpil are there with him – sometimes bickering, other times just asking questions.<br/>
One day, Wonpil is alone at their table, when SungJin approaches him.</p><p>“Hey, is everything okay?” he asks. Wonpil's expression looks different from the other days. His eyes look a bit sad – the usual wide smile is missing from his lips. He looks up at him. The food in front of him looks cold.</p><p>“Yeah...” he says, but the tone doesn't sound sure.</p><p>“You can always talk to me, you know it, right?” SungJin doesn't want to insist. A small smile appears on Wonpil's lips.</p><p>“Yeah, hyung. I do know.”</p><p>“Good.”</p><p>They stay in silence. Wonpil looks at his food with empty eyes. That's when the older take that away, gaining a confused look by the younger. But he doesn't explain himself – he just switches their plates.</p><p>“Why?” Wonpil asks, not understanding why SungJin is eating from his old plate.</p><p>“It's cold and you're not eating. Eat that before it gets cold again.” he urges. His tone is a bit gruff, but Wonpil guesses it's just another way of the older showing his shyness. The younger's smile gets wider.</p><p>“Thank you, hyung.”</p><p>After that, SungJin smiles at himself looking at the younger eating his lunch with a much more contented expression.<br/>
That was the first time SungJin realized how happy he gets when Wonpil's happy.</p><p>SungJin never gets to know what was bothering the younger. Instead, he gets Wonpil himself to be ever more clingy around him, more than ever. He always tries to feed him during their lunch. Sometimes Wonpil complains out loud when he's hungry but suddenly stops when SungJin promises him they'll get to eat dinner together at their dorm.<br/>
The younger even takes the habit to lie on SungJin's bed when they have a movie night at his and Brian's room. The older always looks at him with fond eyes. It's nice to see him cuddled up on his pillow. He likes it when, before falling asleep, he can smell Wonpil's scent.</p><p>“I think those two have something going on,” Wonpil says one day, sitting on their usual spot in class.</p><p>“Who?”</p><p>“Jae and Brian hyung.” his smile is far too knowingly. “Jae and I bicker a lot. And I mean a lot. But Brian beats all my records,” he pauses for a bit. SungJin stays silent, watching Wonpil blush. “I was a little bit jealous, at first, since I used to have the biggest crush on Jae. But they are so cute, hyung!”</p><p>To say that Sungjin's crush had gotten worse in the past few weeks, which were mostly spent in Wonpil's company, would be an understatement. Wonpil is genuine, and his presence always brightens up the room.<br/>
Wonpil's a sunflower. He is yellow, he smiles. He is always staring at the sky, looking for the sun. Sometimes he'd take pictures of it. He usually sends them to the older, with captions that are usually simple. ['That one looks like your big nose,' 'it reminded me of you.'] Probably that's why he feels his heart clench a bit at the thought of Wonpil's crush on Jae. SungJin's about to open his mouth and talk when the teacher enters the classroom, and the lesson starts. Later that day, a little piece of paper falls on his desk. In Wonpil's handwriting, it reads: [“Your eyes are so pretty.”] SungJin blushes and looks at the younger who is smiling silently, still staring at him with fond eyes.</p><p>“You need to confess,” Brian affirms, full of excitement. They're back in their dorm, and SungJin is trying to tell his best friend about the compliment.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“You need to do that. Wonpil is always nice, but he looks up at you. His eyes basically beg you to look at him. And what's worse is that you don't ever stop looking at him.” Brian puts extra emphasis on the last word, making SungJin roll his eyes.</p><p>“You're a drama queen, I do not always stare at him.”</p><p>“You do. Jae and I feel like you're not babying us. And you're our single parent, you can't do that.”</p><p>SungJin looks at him, weirded out. Somehow, those words sound awfully Jae-like. “When did you and Jae become an 'us'?”</p><p>“Okay, let's make a deal,” Brian looks at him with seriousness. “Confess to Wonpil, and I'll confess to Jae. Tomorrow evening.”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“It wasn't a question.”</p><p>“It's still a no from me.”</p><p>“I'll make a reservation for Jae and me, I'll book a table for you and Wonpil too. I hope 8 pm sounds nice.”</p><p>And SungJin knows the excitement he feels in his stomach wouldn't let him disagree. Instead, he takes his phone and texts Wonpil.<br/>
That night goes smoothly. SungJin is nervous, but Wonpil looks like he's just enjoying the food. They talk about everything – their classes, their projects for the future, SungJin's desire to become a producer, and Wonpil's dream of becoming a pianist. They talk about their friends and people who've passed them by in their life journey. Wonpil starts to ask him about exes. “I've never been in a relationship,” SungJin admits. “I had a first love, though.”</p><p>“What happened?” Wonpil looks genuinely curious. SungJin shrugs.</p><p>“I went to the military, came back, and she was in love with someone else.”</p><p>“And then? Did you have a crush on someone else?” there's a different light in those eyes. Something SungJin would recognize as hope, but he doesn't dare to. Once again, his brain betrays him. He opens his mouth, and a single word escapes it.</p><p>“You.”</p><p>If the restaurant where they are isn’t empty already, SungJin would say it gets deadly silent. He starts to sweat, wishing he could blame the weather. But that December night is cold, and soft and cold snowflakes cover the street.</p><p>“Hyung, let's go outside.” Wonpil's expression is unreadable. He gets up, giving SungJin no time to reply before making his way outside. The older is getting more and more nervous, and he's practicing a speech in his head about their friendship and how he doesn't want to lose what they have. The freezing wind reddens their skin. Wonpil patiently waits for him to wear his gloves before taking his hand in his own. They cross the streets and make it to an empty park. Somehow, the feeling of the younger's fingers intertwined with his own, calms him down. He doesn't feel an inch of the former's nervousness that he had felt back in the restaurant – his mind is just between Wonpil's skin and his own.<br/>
“Hyung?” the younger is now facing him. He has this wide smile – SungJin almost thinks the snow will melt under its warmth. “My grandma used to say that people who kiss under the first snow are meant to stay together.”<br/>
SungJin finally smiles. He doubts he's ever felt that lucky before. And when he finds the courage to lean on Wonpil's lips, he could swear that their hearts are warm enough to protect them from the cold of the winter.</p><p>Them being boyfriends doesn't really change anything. And they're happy about that. They still spend most of their time with Jae and Brian, but some nights Brian and Wonpil switch rooms – both of them wanting to spend some time with their boyfriends. They watch movies and talk about those boring books SungJin reads, but which look so interesting when explained by him. They cuddle a lot, with Wonpil's happiness: SungJin's skin is warm, it makes him feel safe.</p><p>“You know, I always sleep under the sheets,” is what Wonpil confesses one night in April. It's raining outside, and they are cuddling in SungJin's bed. There's not so much space, but they don't care. “It could be summer, and the weather could be absolutely unbearable, but I have to be under the sheets. It makes me feel safe. I guess every kid thought covers made them safe from the monster under the bed, right?” he pauses for a bit. SungJin stays silent, waiting for more. “I get the same feeling from your touch. It's warm, and it makes me feel safe.” SungJin doesn't know how to answer. He sits up, looking at his boyfriend. There's tenderness in his eyes. When his hands caress the other's face, the touch has never been so delicate, full of love. He leans on his boyfriend's lips, starting a sweet kiss. Months have passed, but SungJin is still not used to the taste of apple juice and mint on Wonpil's mouth. The kiss deepens, the younger's hands are on his face. Slowly, they make their way to the older's chest, before stopping on his broad shoulders. Soon enough, the shirt is on the floor, followed by other clothes.</p><p>That night the air is filled with sweet words and hot breaths.</p><p>They say the second person we love is the one who is meant to stay in our hearts. With them, people learn what they love about love and what they hate about love. The second love is the hardest. SungJin wishes he could deny it. It's hard to see how Wonpil stopped looking at the sky. It hurts to see how conversation runs dry: they're adults, now and it's not about music and future anymore. It's about paying the rent and if they'll be able to keep their first jobs. It's about building the future, not just having talks. It's about making hard choices – having fights and slip-ups. It's about making love after a fight – just to remind themselves they're still both together. There are good days: there are indoor picnics, and summer nights spent watching the sky. But sometimes it feels like the bad days take over. Wonpil quits sending him pictures of the sky and there's no more “I miss you's” during workdays. He sleeps under the sheets and sometimes refuses SungJin's touch.</p><p>“It's hot,” is what he says. The first excuse he ever made. SungJin has to work hard to mask the hurt on his face.</p><p>“It's okay. Goodnight.”</p><p>The sunflower folds its petals and refuses to look up at the bright star. Instead, he stares at the ground. Somehow, what was once so right felt so wrong. What once made the most sense to Sungjin has begun to not make sense anymore. SungJin wonders if he's the one who took away Wonpil's light. Some nights Wonpil doesn't answer SungJin's “I love you”s and the latter pretends he doesn't notice. It eats him alive, the weight on his chest just reminds him how things are going to end. He doesn't even know how to stop them from falling apart. He promised himself he wouldn't hold grudges over silly things. He swore he wouldn't annoy Wonpil with his silly thoughts.</p><p>Everyone has good days and bad days. Everyone sometimes gets annoyed with someone for no reason, everyone has days they don't feel like talking. Life can get hard, sometimes. And Wonpil knows it's just a moment. He knows it's not his fault if their shifts don't allow them to spend too much time together. And he doesn't blame himself for spending his time home during week-ends – it's the only occasion for him to take some rests.<br/>
But he wonders if SungJin knows. The older's smile dims a bit every time he turns off his offers to get a small holiday far from Seoul or just to take a walk. Slowly, this becomes the object of arguments.</p><p>“Do I bore you?”</p><p>“SungJin, you don't. It's just that I'm too tired.”</p><p>“Wonpil, we're drifting apart. You don't want to do anything with me.” SungJin's smile is forced and sad. Wonpil's heart breaks a little.</p><p>“I promise it will be better. Just give me some time.”</p><p>But thoughts can't be stopped. They don't just disappear, but they crawl in your head 'till you convince yourself of things that aren't even real. SungJin can't distinguish the truth between his thoughts anymore. Is Wonpil tired? Maybe he doesn't want to talk to him. Is it okay if he caresses the younger's hair? But he rejected his boyfriend's touch some weeks ago, saying he didn't want it. Maybe it's not right to feel happy just when he's around, maybe it's not okay to feel so overprotective when he gest sick.<br/>
But SungJin's not good with words. He worries he could annoy the younger. The result is just them drifting apart – and SungJin doesn't know how to stop it.</p><p>“Wonpil, do I make you feel disgusted?”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>Wonpil's tone is almost hysterical. The fight started because of an invitation they got from SungJin's parents. SungJin himself is not that excited. The last time he saw his father, he wasn't able to stop thinking about the disgusted expression on his face. His mother was doing a good job hiding it, but Mr. Park wasn't able to do so. Of course, Wonpil doesn't want to face them again. He's scared, he feels intimidated. He doesn't like to feel judged for just existing. But SungJin loves his parents. He still hopes they would finally accept his relationship with the younger.</p><p>But the argument heated up.</p><p>“You heard me,” SungJin shouts back. Suddenly all the unspoken words make their way out of his lips. “You never hug me first, I always feel like I'm some kind of burden. Gosh, it used to be the opposite. I was the one who had to learn to accept physical touch. Now you don't even kiss me if I don't ask you to.”</p><p>“Are you kidding me? This is not even true!” Even if there is a fake smile on his face, SungJin can tell Wonpil is hurt. “You're just letting your thoughts mess up with you. Are you going to blame me for everything, now? Are you going to blame me for the end of this relationship?”</p><p>But SungJin doesn't answer. Instead, he shuts the door closed behind him and ran away. That night, he stays at a friend's place.</p><p>“SungJin,” Wonpil's voice is almost a whisper. They just made up after a fight – but there's still some uneasiness going on. SungJin has his arm on Wonpil, but it doesn't feel natural anymore. This thought is eating him alive. “Are you awake?”</p><p>“I am.”</p><p>“What happened to us?” the question echoes in the empty room. The silence is dense. SungJin finds himself thinking how unspoken words can hurt much more than the angry ones they shot just a few hours ago. The older feels his stomach twist. Before he could control them, tears cross his cheeks. Wonpil didn't notice until a chocked sob escapes his lips.</p><p>“I want to say that I love you,” he starts. His voice is gentle, but SungJin knows his words won't be as kind. “But I don't think it would be true. It would be out of habit.”</p><p>They're not the same people they were back in university. Something looks twisted about the current situation. SungJin has changed, for the better and for the worse. He's still shy, but now he conveys those vibes into a goofy attitude. He has made progress in learning how to mask his own feelings better and hide what truly hurt him. He learned it was okay to take his own time. Sometimes he looks blunt, or intimidating.<br/>
Under the mask, he's still SungJin. Or so he thinks.<br/>
But the surprise is Wonpil. The younger who used to joke around, and be very honest with himself has learned not to be as sensitive as he used to. Wonpil used to cry at the end of the movie, whether it was a happy ending or not. He used to sniff into SungJin's t-shirt after a fight or a bad day, finding comfort in SungJin's arms and warmth. He used to be very vocal about his feelings. SungJin misses the old Wonpil, but people change and he knows. Wonpil's no different.</p><p>“Is it over?” SungJin's question breaks the silence. His heart isn't racing, sorrow embraces his entire soul. His heart doesn't beat fast anymore, too broken to find its pace.</p><p>“Can we at least try to still be friends?” Wonpil's tone breaks a little. A single tear escapes from his blinking eyes. “I don't want to lose you. Not yet. But I think something is not working anymore.”<br/>
SungJin nods, but his hold on Wonpil's torso tightens. “One more night,” he whispers. “I'm asking you just one more night.”</p><p>Wonpil doesn't reply, but he doesn't pull away. Instead, he cries silently in the other's arms.<br/>
When the next day SungJin wakes up, Wonpil's not there anymore. Instead, there is a post-it on the fridge. [ “Please, let's remain as friends. You're a beautiful human being, hyung. Don't blame yourself if we didn't work together.” ] The older's chest aches so bad he doesn't feel a thing. His brain and his heart just keeps him alive. No thoughts, No purpose.<br/>
He goes to work as if it was a normal Thursday. He works on the production of the album for some rookie group, then he goes home. He doesn't feel hungry, even if he forgot to eat lunch. No satisfaction from the work he just did, not even the happiness of the artists touched him. Maybe, he looked like a jerk to them. But he can't take himself to feel sorry. All he feels is tiredness.<br/>
When he opens his and Wonpil's apartment, the scent of Wonpil's cologne is not there. There are no more pictures on the shelves. The keyboard Wonpil used to play to him when he couldn't sleep is not near the couch anymore. Instead, the house looks empty. But he thinks it's not as empty as his heart. He carries himself to the bedroom. He doesn't bother to change clothes or wash away the tiresome day. He lies in bed and closes his eyes. Three words escape his mouth right before sleepiness takes over him.</p><p>“I love you.”</p><p>But no one is there to listen.</p><p>“Move in with me.” Junhyeok is sitting on SungJin's couch. SungJin could swear he has never seen such a serious look on his face. “You can't stay here anymore. It's been three months and you get more and more miserable as the days go by.”<br/>
It's been three months. How did he spend those days? SungJin can't recall. He knows he lost some weight and insomnia is haunting his nights. Sometimes he still says those three words before falling asleep – as if the past few months have been just a terrifying nightmare.</p><p>“Jeez, thanks.”</p><p>“I'm serious. Move in with me, leave these memories behind. We'll share the rent, we'll go out together and find a new routine.”</p><p>“Listen, I know you mean well, but-”</p><p>“No, you listen. I'm worried. And Dowoon himself asked me to talk to you, he said you won't listen to him.”</p><p>Dowoon is right. The guy is Wonpil's friend but, always acted like the brother SungJin has never had. Dowoon is goofy, cute, and looks up to him a lot. He always asks SungJin for some music advice claiming he was the best when it comes to harmonies. For some weird twist of Fate, Dowoon used to attend the same dorm in college as Junhyeok, who happened to be SungJin's colleague and friend.<br/>
“Is Wonpil still staying with him?” SungJin doesn't really want to know. Since they broke up, he tried to get in touch with Wonpil for a few times, but the number has always been unavailable. The younger changed his phone number.</p><p>“Yeah, he says he's sorry. He doesn't want to take sides.”</p><p>“I don't care.”</p><p>“You do, you were close to him.” Junhyeok shoots back. Apparently, he isn't in the right mood to buy SungJin's bullshits. “I'll help you pack your things.”</p><p>They say second love is the one who helps you to grow. You learn more about yourself, you find your strengths. Second love hurts, but you will come out of it stronger. This love includes great pain, lies, betrayal, abuse, drama, and damage. Now we know the difference between good and bad humans. Now we become closed, careful, cautious, and considerate. We know exactly what we want and don't want. SungJin doesn't know yet. His heart still claims Wonpil, but his head tells him not to. Some days, he feels like a broken toy, while other days it feels like he could just enjoy his life. Junhyeok is by his side – he talks to him kindly and listens to him when he needs to. He invites him to watch movies together, and drink beer. Junhyeok teaches him to say “thank you” and not to apologize for having bad days. He is a good friend and SungJin is thankful.</p><p>“Wonpil, I don't care!” it's Sunday morning and SungJin gets woken up by his ex's name. His first thought is that maybe Wonpil is in the next room. Maybe he finally showed up and he's here to make things up. Maybe he'll finally keep his promise and they'll be friends. SungJin knows he shouldn't get his hopes up, but he did.</p><p>“No, you don't understand.” Junhyeok is shouting back. But no one answer. Instead, it's still Junhyeok talking. “I don't care. You're going to hurt both of you and I'm not allowing that.”</p><p>Another pause before Junhyeok's voice raises again. “No, you're right, I don't know. But I've seen him and you haven't. I can tell how the break up hit him. And I won't let you screw that up because you think you might have missed him. You don't get to toy with feelings just because you didn't have the courage to try out what you promised.”</p><p>By now, SungJin gets that Junhyeok has been on the phone with Wonpil. He couldn't tell if the guy doesn't care about SungJin overhearing or he wants him to know. He just stays in bed – hearing words he doesn't want to listen to. He wonders why Junhyeok is keeping Wonpil from him. He wonders what those words should mean. Does Wonpil miss him as much as he misses him?<br/>
The moment a tear crosses his cheek, someone knocks at the door. SungJin rushes to wipe it before letting his roommate in.</p><p>“I'm sorry if I woke you up. He pisses me off.” he sits on the bed, next to him. SungJin sits up, listening to what the other is about to say. “Look, I'll be honest with you. Wonpil called. He was crying.”</p><p>SungJin twitches nervously. He wants to ask why, and Junhyeok must read it on his face because he answers him right away.<br/>
“He said he might have missed you. He's not sure about his feelings because he hasn't seen you in a while and thought he didn't want to see you again.”</p><p>The words hit SungJin hard. He can't understand why. What did he do to deserve that? Why did Wonpil make a promise he wouldn't keep? Did he change his mind? Or maybe someone made him change his mind, maybe Dowoon. The two of them have always been awfully close. Maybe -</p><p>“I know what you're thinking.” Junhyeok sighs. “You did nothing to deserve it. He needed space. I think he meant it when he said he wanted to stay friends.”</p><p>“Why did he change his mind?”</p><p>“He's messing with his own feelings. You've been together for seven years. It's hard to get used to someone's absence, even if you broke up with them.”</p><p>“He misses me. I'm waiting for him, though.” SungJin's eyes are filled with false hope. Day by day he has to face a life he has never seen for himself. When SungJin thought about his future, he had figured a house he could call “home”, Wonpil by his side. Maybe a dog, a kid. He imagined their hands and a ring around the fourth finger.</p><p>“And you should stop. I can promise you, once you stop, everything will be alright. You two will be alright.” Junhyeok tone is not severe. It's warm and he's talking sincerely, SungJin can tell.</p><p>“Do you think we'll get back together?” when he asks that, the other hesitates.</p><p>“I don't know. It depends on you guys. You both have to figure out some stuff.” He pauses. But no one says anything anymore. SungJin is again lost in his thoughts. He can't help but hope his friend is right: both of them will be alright.<br/>
At that moment, he realized it doesn't matter who will come into his life anymore. Wonpil will always be the love he lost. The one who was meant to stay, but he couldn't keep by his side.<br/>
Wonpil was his very soulmate and his heart would always be weak for his soft voice, or his laugh. His mind would always look for those night talks they used to have. No matter how good another person will be – his broken heart would always look for the missing piece Wonpil took with him that night.</p><p>Somehow, SungJin is sure he has a piece of Wonpil's heart with him too.</p><p>“Now, get up,” Junhyeok says suddenly. He stands up from the bed, clapping his hand loudly. “Today is a great day! And you know why?”</p><p>“No?”</p><p>“We're redecorating the living room. Get up!”</p><p>SungJin groans. He just wishes he could stay in his room. The day didn't start well. But Junhyeok's demands of him to get ready gets him to leave Wonpil on a corner of his mind.</p><p>It's May when SungJin is just sitting on a bench reading a poem book. The weather feels nice, late cherry trees are blossoming all over the street. It's one of the days he enjoys spending for himself, by himself. He eats whatever he wants, whenever he wants. Most of the time he stays in his room, but today the sun is so warm it would be a pity to stay indoors. He soon regrets it when a voice calls his name.</p><p>“SungJin? Park SungJin?” when the producer looks at the man who's calling him, he meets a pair of foxy, smiling, eyes.</p><p>“Brian?”</p><p>“Yeah! Bro, it's been a while!” the young man is too happy to notice SungJin's tense smile. He missed Brian. After they graduate, they lost touch – Wonpil was the one who still texted Jae, sometimes. SungJin smiles, remembering how the other laughed at his attempts to look jealous.</p><p>“How are you, hyung?”</p><p>“I'm fine. I was just enjoying the warm day.”</p><p>“It's great! I thought about you recently, I told Jae to ask Wonpil your number, but-”</p><p>“Wonpil and I broke up.” SungJin cuts him off. Brian's smile dims and his mouth is still open. Probably he didn't know.</p><p>“Oh, shit. I'm sorry. How are you? When?...”</p><p>“Almost a year ago. We've been together for seven years, so – yeah. It's hard.” he tries to smile, but somehow fails. He doesn't want to have this conversation.</p><p>“Shit. I'm sorry,” he repeats. By the look in his eyes, SungJin can tell he's sincere. “Listen, do you want to catch up sometimes? Let's exchange numbers. Maybe we can go out for a beer or something.”</p><p>SungJin nods gladly. He would lie if he said he wasn't happy about it. He knows he needs his friends now. He knows it's time for him to start to live again. Brian and Jae are old friends, but he missed them. He missed the bickering – which, Brian guarantees, it's still as bad as it used to. He missed Jae's weird ways to eat his food and the honest talks he and Brian used to have at night. Brian has always been genuine. And the smile when he sits next to him confirms he still is.</p><p>“What about you and Jae?”</p><p>“Oh, we're doing well. Actually...” he pauses, his eyes fall on his hands. His fourth finger wears a ring.</p><p>“Congratulations, Bri.”</p><p>“Thank you, hyung. We both proposed on the same night and it was a little awkward. But it's a fun story to tell.” he laughs.</p><p>“It sounds something you two would do, yeah. When are you getting married?”</p><p>“In a month. We've decided for the end of June. Hey, you should come!” Brian sounds so excited he barely waits for his hyung to answer. “Please, I would love to have there the guy who got us together!”</p><p>“I didn't get you together.”</p><p>“You did! We made a deal, don't you remember?”</p><p>“But you forced me.”</p><p>“It was a deal, you cannot escape that,” his laugh is again playful. Somehow it feels like years never passed. Somehow they are those kids who shared a room and ate ramyon at 2 am.</p><p>“Yeah, sure. I'll come.”</p><p>The third love is the one who is forever. It comes blindly, without any warning. It creeps on you silently. You don't go looking for this love, but it comes to you. You can put up any wall you want, but it will be broken down. You'll find yourself caring about that person without even trying. You see the beauty in imperfections and you hide nothing from them. You want family and marriage from them. Every night you thank the universe for the gift that your partner is. SungJin wonders if Jae loved someone before Brian because he knows Brian didn't. Probably some people are just meant to be, he ponders. He tries his best not to complete the sentence thinking about how Wonpil and he are not those people.</p><p>He's sitting at Jae and Brian's table and they are talking loudly about the wedding. “We really want you to sing there,” Brian starts.</p><p>“Please, do it. I'd fire the band for you.” Jae tries. “Well, Brian will, I'm an introvert.”</p><p>“You have to stop drawing that card out when you don't want to do something.”</p><p>“I want SungJin to sing, but have you seen the singer? He is huge. He would break me and I need to be beautiful on the day of my wedding.”</p><p>“You know, you're not that good.”</p><p>“Please,” Jae turns to SungJin who is trying his best not to laugh. “Could you recall me who asked me out in the first place?”</p><p>“It was eight years ago!”</p><p>“But you did!”</p><p>“You guys didn't change.” SungJin's laugh interrupts the bickering. “How did you even survive?”</p><p>“We like it this way. It keeps the passion up,” Jae winks.</p><p>“Please, don't do that again,” SungJin sends him a disgusted look. “But I'll sing at your wedding, okay. I'll need to practice.”</p><p>“Please, we listened to your covers on YouTube. In my opinion, you could sing All of Me all night.”</p><p>“He literally wrote our song and you ask for John Legend?”</p><p>“He wrote it, composed it, and produced it, but he didn't sing it!”</p><p>“He did on his YouTube channel, you dumbass.”</p><p>“What's the song?” SungJin asks.</p><p>“When you love someone!” they both answer. SungJin's smile dims.</p><p>“I wrote that one for Wonpil.” silence falls in the room. Brian's eyes are full of tenderness. He can see how SungJin suffers from his ex-boyfriend's absence. His eyes have always been bright. But lately, dark eyebags make them gloomy. His hands are sore – the hands of a guitarist, of a musician. And SungJin already told him he plays guitar and sings when he feels too nervous. Brian wonders if he did the same when Wonpil was by his side. He hopes the older will find love again. But the promise ring around his middle finger makes him doubt SungJin will be able to move on soon.</p><p>By the end of June, a lot of things have changed. First of all, the producer left his colleague's place and got a new apartment on his own. A lazy cat now lives on his bed – Jae and Brian took it to his place one night, claiming he needed a home, and SungJin had already found a new place. But he knows that they are just worried that he would feel alone. But he's going out often, he doesn't feel alone anymore. Somehow, the friendship with Brian and Jae made him feel better. He has never felt like the third wheel, and it was thanks to Junhyeok, who often tags along with them. Sometimes Dowoon joins too, and it's all fun until Wonpil's name comes up. He sings a lot more. It's always been part of his job, but now his YouTube channel earned him a small public. Now and then he goes busking, with the only desire of letting go of those feelings he has been keeping inside.<br/>
Some things haven't changed. SungJin still wears that ring. He still thinks about Wonpil when he closes his eyes and sings. He still says his love confession to his apartment walls. He still hopes Wonpil will respect his promise and knock at his door carrying fried chicken and a beer between his hands.</p><p>The truth is SungJin has a question for all those people who talk about “the third love”. Could it be someone we already loved? Could it mean falling again for the same person, even if your mind wants to refrain you and your heart never stopped? Could it be Wonpil again?<br/>
This is what he wonders when from the stage of a little bar, he feels a pair of dark, warm, crossed-eyes watching him from afar. They look surprised but don't run away. SungJin wonders if they'll wait for him. He asks himself if they'll let him finish that song – and talk to him like they used to. He wants to know how they have been. Has it been dark for them too? Have they found the light yet? Is the world still grey to them too? Or someone else painted it differently for them to live again?<br/>
He hopes they'll wait for him. Maybe his lips will still be able to kiss them softly, at night. Maybe they'll look at him and ask to take a coffee together, once again.</p><p>SungJin wants to talk to those eyes.</p><p>And Wonpil's there to listen.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'd like to thank everyone who proofread this work and/or gave me their precious opinions about it.<br/>Twitter users: @chaoticbassist, @shaystruggles, @stoptalkingday6, @KariGKFan02, @sungbrination, @leaniaaa, @AEGYE0M. </p><p>Thank you so much, everyone. You guys have been amazing. Your kindness is beyond words. You helped me a lot, editing and proofreading. You guys worked hard! Thank you!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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